I am listening to Christmas music wearing an adorable fall outfit, waiting for my hubby to come home so I can show myself off. I have a beautiful life.
A great paying job that I like, I am approaching the finish of school, and I am married to my best friend. Love it. One thing I have noticed lately though is I have distanced myself from my savior. I still pray, we go to church, we do our Jesus calling, but I am missing that one on one Jesus / Michelle time we once had. So while I think, my life is great, (and don't get me wrong, it is) imagine how great it would be if I was walking in synch with my Savior. Sooo good. Time to fix that.
Also I have started on another great adventure. Weight Loss. It was time, working at McDonalds for a year, and thinking I could eat like a boy, just because I cook for one took its toll. Seriously. So I joined the weight watchers race and am loving it. Having the history I have when it comes to "dieting", this is a very practical safe way to do it. I am feeling good and productive and...happy. So happy.
I love you sweet friends and I hope that you're happy too!
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,” Philippians 1:9-10 NIV ( ah thanks Biblegateway, good one)
Love love love,
Michelle(y)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Adventures of a Bare foot girl and Superman....
I have had lots of time for blogging, but little creativity.
Today the air is crisp and clear and smells of fall.
Pandora is crooning in the background and so here I am.
What a strange year this has been.
The best one yet.
There will be great years ahead, but this one, this year takes the cake, or rather the pie.: )
This November Derek and I will have been together a year! Traditionally people would date a year, then get engaged then get married. We shook things up a bit, and skipped that whole engagement bit, it seemed like a formality. :) Half of our one year has been spent married, and I have to tell you it's been awesome.
Let me tell you about my Derek:
He is tall, handsome, incredibly intelligent.
While he may seem reserved at first he is honestly one of the funnest people I've ever met, and the coolest thing about that is I am primarily the only one who sees it. I am not always certain of who I am, but whoever I happen to be, he gets all of it. No stage lights, no b.s., no funny girl trying to fit in.
Derek gets Michelle, the good , bad, the morning breath, strange dinosaur noises and he loves all of it.
Derek opened a door I did not know existed . He taught me that there is no box that I have to fit into, he helped me break free of the one I wore for so long. I am learning to respect myself, learning that I have worth, learning that "michelle" is not a joke, "michelle" is awesome. That's not to say that he looks at me with blind eyes, he see's me in my humaness, but he comes alongside me, and we grow.
For too long, I belittled myself in front of others, and that made it seem ok for them to do it too. Thus I built the frame, and others handed me the boards and nails, and I became stuck in a box. A "funny" always flighty, dreamer, never finisher, oh that michelle, kind of a box. No more. The box was burned on easter Sunday and here I am. Loving every second of it. I answer to my husband and I answer to my sweet Lord.
That is as simple as it gets.
I love this life I've been given. I love the sweet man I've been blessed with and I love that God knew what I needed and he gave it to me last november!
Love, love, love,
Always dreaming,singing,pursuing-michelle
Today the air is crisp and clear and smells of fall.
Pandora is crooning in the background and so here I am.
What a strange year this has been.
The best one yet.
There will be great years ahead, but this one, this year takes the cake, or rather the pie.: )
This November Derek and I will have been together a year! Traditionally people would date a year, then get engaged then get married. We shook things up a bit, and skipped that whole engagement bit, it seemed like a formality. :) Half of our one year has been spent married, and I have to tell you it's been awesome.
Let me tell you about my Derek:
He is tall, handsome, incredibly intelligent.
While he may seem reserved at first he is honestly one of the funnest people I've ever met, and the coolest thing about that is I am primarily the only one who sees it. I am not always certain of who I am, but whoever I happen to be, he gets all of it. No stage lights, no b.s., no funny girl trying to fit in.
Derek gets Michelle, the good , bad, the morning breath, strange dinosaur noises and he loves all of it.
Derek opened a door I did not know existed . He taught me that there is no box that I have to fit into, he helped me break free of the one I wore for so long. I am learning to respect myself, learning that I have worth, learning that "michelle" is not a joke, "michelle" is awesome. That's not to say that he looks at me with blind eyes, he see's me in my humaness, but he comes alongside me, and we grow.
For too long, I belittled myself in front of others, and that made it seem ok for them to do it too. Thus I built the frame, and others handed me the boards and nails, and I became stuck in a box. A "funny" always flighty, dreamer, never finisher, oh that michelle, kind of a box. No more. The box was burned on easter Sunday and here I am. Loving every second of it. I answer to my husband and I answer to my sweet Lord.
That is as simple as it gets.
I love this life I've been given. I love the sweet man I've been blessed with and I love that God knew what I needed and he gave it to me last november!
Love, love, love,
Always dreaming,singing,pursuing-michelle
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I'll brave whatever storm comes through, if it brings me back to you...
I have OCD.
I haven't broadcast this widely (until now)...
It's not your widely publicized " count everything 7 times or your first born will perish" OCD but irrational thinking/ compulsion's type OCD /trapped in your own body OCD/ Awful OCD. It has it's peaks and valley's like any mental illness. Right now I'm in a valley.
As I sat today in my apartment slightly overwhelmed, in the shut down phase of my anxiety, I felt the inspiration to write a song. I haven't' felt this way in a while. As a song writer, that's kind of essential to my being. I was excited. A phrase. Meaningful at that. A melody. Life was good.
God speaks to me , through the songs I write. That happened today, out of my frustration, I was reminded that these times startle me into looking up. I was reminded of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I was encouraged. I hope that you can be too, in whatever circumstance you find yourself in today. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness HAS NOT overcome it!!!
Today it hit me, or rather, was shown to me that out of great heartache comes beautiful life-flowing things.
That if being anxious and wrestling with my brain draws me closer to my Lord, then so be it. ( it scares me to say these words, but bring it on...)
That I need to praise,adore, and pursue, even in my darkest hour. (that's not easy though...)
That's all for now..
Love you.
~ Michelle
I haven't broadcast this widely (until now)...
It's not your widely publicized " count everything 7 times or your first born will perish" OCD but irrational thinking/ compulsion's type OCD /trapped in your own body OCD/ Awful OCD. It has it's peaks and valley's like any mental illness. Right now I'm in a valley.
As I sat today in my apartment slightly overwhelmed, in the shut down phase of my anxiety, I felt the inspiration to write a song. I haven't' felt this way in a while. As a song writer, that's kind of essential to my being. I was excited. A phrase. Meaningful at that. A melody. Life was good.
God speaks to me , through the songs I write. That happened today, out of my frustration, I was reminded that these times startle me into looking up. I was reminded of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I was encouraged. I hope that you can be too, in whatever circumstance you find yourself in today. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness HAS NOT overcome it!!!
Today it hit me, or rather, was shown to me that out of great heartache comes beautiful life-flowing things.
That if being anxious and wrestling with my brain draws me closer to my Lord, then so be it. ( it scares me to say these words, but bring it on...)
That I need to praise,adore, and pursue, even in my darkest hour. (that's not easy though...)
That's all for now..
Love you.
~ Michelle
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
boxes and laundry and zeal . Oh. My.
Up to my ears in things to do, and lacking motivation...
Isn't that always the case?
We are moving tomorrow! Our first place, void of posters of our youth, figurines and pictures of times long ago... A place of our own. The bed is beckoning me to come back, to cast a blind eye on the laundry and ignore the boxes that lay empty around me. To sleep.
Not having a lot to say is not one of my strong suits, but today maybe it's for the best.
I was reading Romans 12 today and oh my goodness that chapter is jam packed full of amazing things.
12:9-21
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Seriously, I mean these are words to live by! I want to be a woman after God's own heart, consistently. Consistency is not always what I am good at but, I am learning, really learning.
Love and Grace,
Michelle
Isn't that always the case?
We are moving tomorrow! Our first place, void of posters of our youth, figurines and pictures of times long ago... A place of our own. The bed is beckoning me to come back, to cast a blind eye on the laundry and ignore the boxes that lay empty around me. To sleep.
Not having a lot to say is not one of my strong suits, but today maybe it's for the best.
I was reading Romans 12 today and oh my goodness that chapter is jam packed full of amazing things.
12:9-21
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Seriously, I mean these are words to live by! I want to be a woman after God's own heart, consistently. Consistency is not always what I am good at but, I am learning, really learning.
Love and Grace,
Michelle
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Water, water,water everywhere....
It looks like Oregon outside.
Or what I imagine oregon to be.
I hope to live there someday.
Pandora is playing sweetly in the background, my hair is a hot matted mess of product and sleep.
It is, almost noon.
My husbands parting words to me this morning were : "be productive"...
I. Have. A. Husband.
Simon &Garfunkel have started playing on my Pandora station and I am losing my artsy mid-morning mindset.
Song change. Focus. Me... Marriage.... Me ? Marriage? (sighs) Derek. A cornocopia of words couldn't touch on the subject of him. I knew I never wanted to be alone...but the thought of being with someone till you croak was slightly off putting. Not now. I have seen more grace, and love, and healing in the past two months, and it has been a thing of beauty. Realizing lately that I have burned a lot of bridges, and needed to be refined into a woman of my word, has been to say the least, hard. I no longer walk alone. Having a partner in crime, to hold me up, to help in the refining process... is beautiful.
Truly Blessed,
Michelle
P.S. This song came on my station... so good.
Or what I imagine oregon to be.
I hope to live there someday.
Pandora is playing sweetly in the background, my hair is a hot matted mess of product and sleep.
It is, almost noon.
My husbands parting words to me this morning were : "be productive"...
I. Have. A. Husband.
Simon &Garfunkel have started playing on my Pandora station and I am losing my artsy mid-morning mindset.
Song change. Focus. Me... Marriage.... Me ? Marriage? (sighs) Derek. A cornocopia of words couldn't touch on the subject of him. I knew I never wanted to be alone...but the thought of being with someone till you croak was slightly off putting. Not now. I have seen more grace, and love, and healing in the past two months, and it has been a thing of beauty. Realizing lately that I have burned a lot of bridges, and needed to be refined into a woman of my word, has been to say the least, hard. I no longer walk alone. Having a partner in crime, to hold me up, to help in the refining process... is beautiful.
Truly Blessed,
Michelle
P.S. This song came on my station... so good.
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