Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'll brave whatever storm comes through, if it brings me back to you...

I have OCD.
 I haven't broadcast this widely (until now)...
It's not  your widely publicized " count everything 7 times or your first born will perish" OCD but irrational thinking/ compulsion's type OCD /trapped in your own body OCD/ Awful OCD. It has it's peaks and valley's like any mental illness.  Right now I'm in a valley.

As I sat today in my apartment slightly overwhelmed, in the shut down phase of my anxiety, I felt the inspiration to write a song. I haven't' felt this way in a while. As a song writer, that's kind of essential to my being. I was excited. A phrase. Meaningful at that. A melody. Life was good.

God speaks to me ,  through the songs I write. That happened today, out of my frustration, I was reminded that these times startle me into looking up. I was reminded of what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I was encouraged. I hope that you can be too, in whatever circumstance you find yourself in today. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness HAS NOT overcome it!!!

Today it hit me, or rather, was shown to me that out of great heartache comes beautiful life-flowing things.
That if being anxious and wrestling with my brain draws me closer to my Lord, then so be it. ( it scares me to say these words, but bring it on...)
That I need to praise,adore, and pursue, even in my darkest hour. (that's not easy though...)

That's all for now..

Love you.
~ Michelle