Saturday, March 17, 2012

Dumb robin, dumb me?

Stuck in a tar pit, moving, well hardly, but trying, kind of. Meeting resistance as anyone in tar would. Frustrated because what she wants she doesn't have, but she doesn't move obtain it either.Stuck.

 Fluttering she hits the glass, sees something beyond it she desperately wants, can't get to it,scrape, crash , repeat, can't get to it. She doesn't get it, but she doesn't give up either. I am annoyed. Robin and I are singing a duet. She wants in the house and I... I want to feel of value, unstuck to shatter the glass and perch on my tree. Robin and I it would seem are one in the same. Robin, sweet,dumb robin doesn't understand that the tree she so desperately wants to perch on resides in a house,to which she has no access. Michelle,sweet dumb,Michelle doesn't realize that the things she seeks are of little importance if she isn't seeking her father's will first.Obtain that,the rest will follow.
 I learned. I hope Robin will follow suit.

Seriously this robin for two days has tried to get in the house. She is resilient in the worst way, wanting this tree that sits indoors. I shoo her away and get back to reading,but the scrape,crash,flutter,repeat is obnoxious. I wondered if the big man was trying to say something, or if poor robin is just a little messed up. I think it's the prior, or both,either way it struck a chord with me. 

Robin couldn't see the glass, was confused because she saw right through it.
 I was having a conversation with my awesome sister about how I felt stuck and frustrated, she began encouraging me ( thinking I meant spiritually (which I didn't but should have ) ) to get more involved, to make it count. I followed up by saying  " I was referring to more insignificant things." her response was "There you go."  I worry will music ever be a real thing in my life, will I be as good as other people at doing hair... um... things to be mindful then proactive about, but not unraveled by.

The glass in front of me was this : By pursuing my savior and listening for his will, I will find what my real passion is, things will fall into place, his desires will become my own. I will perch on the best tree of all.

Were imperfect beings, maybe a month from now I'll get excited flap my wings and head for the nearest window crash and remember who's in charge. However I'll keep growing.

<3 M

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